Who’s the meanest person you know?
Most people don’t know this about me. But I’m the meanest person I know.
I mean, I (can be) really mean. Just awful. I can be critical and judgmental, I can beat myself up and tear myself down.
My survival mechanism is to not even begin because my inner critic is convinced that I’m incapable and unable to achieve anything.


When I have dreams and good ideas my inner bully kicks in and tries to squash any hope for progress, let alone success.

Why would anyone move forward with turning their dreams into a reality if they listened to their inner critic?
They wouldn’t!
When we listen to our inner critic we are convinced that we don’t have what it takes to achieve what we envision.
If you’ve are in this head space, it’s important to remember that the inner bully is a mentally fabricated protective mechanism.
Though extremely harmful, it’s mission is to keep you where you are and protect you from your greatest fears.

These fears show up in the form of limiting stories and narratives about yourself, others, and what’s possible.
And they are untrue.


And while many of us can be, in our owns heads, the meanest people we know, we can also be the nicest people we know.

Begin by befriending the meanest person you know. Welcome your critic and bully in with love and compassion. Give your bully the care and companionship it has been longing for.


Not sure how to befriend your inner bully?

Look for a role model. Who’s the nicest person you know? Find a mentor, lean on a grandparent, or your favorite teacher, or a neighbor.
What would they say and do? How would they advise and encourage you?

Model their behavior and way of being.

Are you feeling trapped by your inner bully/critic?

It’s common to want to conceal our darkness, fears, guilt and perceived imperfections. Especially since a sense of shame and overwhelm can also be associated with these feelings.
However, the more we repress these negative thoughts and feelings the more power we give them. And then they seep out in the form of depression, anxiety, mania, laziness, moodiness, apathy, addiction, recklessness, abuse, neglect, self-sabotage and exhaustion. Further fuelling the inner bully's fire. 

So it’s no wonder we run from our bully!


Alternatively, you can remind yourself that you are not your inner bully. You are not your inner critic. You are more than the thoughts in your head.

The work of befriending your inner bully is the path to being whomever you wish to be. With practice you will learn to observe the voice(s) in your head, even when you are scared, hurt, sad, angry, nervous, and uncertain so that you can get back to being and creating what you want. This is the work of being, what I call, open for business.

It’s the steady path forward. I like to think of it as turning on the lights in your metaphorical home, office, business, life… One room at a time.

The work of befriending your inner bully is illumination.